Well i had to drive across town. Blondie was planning to meet me at some crazy cafe i had never been to. So while i was driving there, i sadly had all of my thoughts to my self. I was trying to recap what had happened over the summer. So far nothing good was coming to mind. All I could think of was how stupid i had been. I didn't and couldn't believe that i had met the two most amazing women. Two women that i actually would have considered dating. Two women that i would easily have come out of the single life for.
CC: 5'5 110 Cross Country Runner
Bra Size: Low C High B
Butt: TLP (Tight Little Package) Great runner but
Personality: Fiery, doesn't take anything from anyone, and has a huge chip on her shoulder. Very vulnerable and hurt inside, but looking on the outside you would never know. I know that this is a terrible analogy but I'm serious when i say- she acts exactly like Asuka from Eva and has the same problems. If she doesn't like you, you will know it. She will not lift a finger for you. But if your lucky enough to be on her good side, she will try and give you the world. Fun loving and an adventurer she always make my heart beat faster, and my brain think faster when i am talking with her.
Status: (Single) Friend Zone, but doesn't act like it. In fact I could say with utmost certainty that she indeed had a crush on me, at one point during the summer.
Future Plans: Finish her senior year in high school
Then of course, lets not forget blondie
Blondie: 5'3 125 Band Girl
Hair: Blond (duh)
Eyes: Crystal Blue
Bra Size: Mid C
Butt: Also sports a swimmers TLP. Not to be confused with a runner butt, but imo just as nice on the right person.
Personality: Where CC is Fire, Blondie is Water. Cool, Calm, and collected, blondie is always indecisive about making decisions. She will go with the flow. Blondie is so amazing to me because (being a huge misanthrope) I am absolutely amazed by her ability to do the following: Being good just for goodness sake. Blondie is my better half, my moral compass and i come to her to be a stabilizing force. she comes to me likewise for scathing advice, and because (and i quote) "Ben you always make me laugh."
Status: (Taken) Friend Zone, but doesn't act like it.
Future Plans: Going to her freshman year in college, out of state.
As i recapped the summer while driving, i came to a few conclusions.
1. I'm an idiot.
2. I'm an idiot.
3. These girls deserve better than me
4. I never can get anything right.
5. Right now, CC needs a friend. I will be that stabilizing rock, the guy that will not turn on her. I value her friendship over anything in this world. At this time I didn't want to risk her friendship and her confidence in me over my selfish desire for a relationship.
6. Blondie has a boyfriend, and no matter what- I don't think that even me my arrogant and cocky/funny self is going to be able to break them apart.
As i pulled into the parking lot of the cafe, i already had a bad feeling about this date. the place looked like a mac fags/Greenpeace/save the planet/I love obama/hippy joint. And you know what? I couldn't have been more right. I slowly watched a pair of scene kids walk through the front door, and some lady with a small ratdog.
Sitting on the bench, i was suddenly surprised to find someone placing their hands over my face. The old guess who routine ensued, and my first guess was Al gore. Sadly i was wrong, but on the flip side when i turned around, i was face to face with blondie.
We said the traditional high, how are you thing- ya whatever. She told me that she was so happy that she could see me one last time before going to college and asked for my AIM and all of that. As we walked in side, my worst fears were suddenly confirmed. (HOLY SHIT this place was a hippy joint, not a dead animal on a plate in the entire restaurant's. They didn't even serve milk. T.T)
However i tried to re-compose myself, but blondie was far to quick. "Well Ben i see that you got up on the right side of the bed today. Do you want to go some place else?" (Shit. She actually saw that.) So i stammered out some excuse and before i new it, i was sitting in the back corner, looking over a menu that was 99.8% salads. And the rest sandwiches. But here is the real catch, everything was really really expensive. For GREENS AND CARROTS PASUIODHFSODUFHOAUIFDHAIOSF!!!!!!111!!!!!11!!!
While all of that was going on inside of my head, me and blondie slid into easy conversation. After talking about how packing was going and if she was exited for college, blondie decided to play my favorite game. Tear people apart that come to coffee places, and do so to do more than socialize and drink coffee. She looked my right in the eye, and i was slowly being sucked into her beautiful blues. When she told me- Ben do you know why i picked this place? Because i know that there would be a ton of fun people to pick apart. She winked at me, and gave the first sorry victim a run down.
hilariously enough- she picked one of the scene girls that had walked in earlier. i don't remember exactly what she had said, however i do remember that it was very funny. She had gotten better at my favorite game, and she had done so very quickly.
Before long our food had arrived and we were both trying to eat our green, plant shit. I trying to be safe, ordered a sandwich. However it sucked.
I shit you not, that is what my "sandwich" looked like. I couldn't fit my mouth around it. So i had some akward moments trying to eat this thing, while not looking like a complete retard. Blondie on the other hand had ordered some kind of fruit salad, and spent most of the meal laughing at me, my sandwich, my scathing review of said sandwich, and then me trying to eat said sandwich.
Basically all i can say is that, I'm glad that she had a good time.
After eating me and her decided to walk along the river and get some coffee. While walking we began to talk about everything. Politics mostly (thank god she wasn't a retard about the elections.) instead she had some interesting views. As we walked farther and farther, i directed to the part of town i new best. The wharfs. Because i am a pretty big sailor, i brought her out to a deserted one, and we sat there in sun, legs hanging off the side, watching the boats slip by.
I cannot possibly begin to write everything that was said between us, because we sat there for 2 hours. it was crazy. i remember her telling me that my analogy of comparing a lap dance to summer was defiantly right. (For those of you that are confused, i had on an earlier date, compared summer to getting a lap dance from a stripper. My analogy was this: Summer is like a lap dance. at first, your kind of nervous/awkward about it because you don't know what to expect from the stripper/summer. Then about half way through you really start getting into it, and soon your just having a great time. Then the dance ends, way too soon, and before you know it, your out money, and school is about to begin. All of that is racing through your mind as she walks away.)
Anyway, she was describing it out to me, and thought that it fit, and hit the nail on the head. As we laughed and joked, we slowly started to walk back towards the cafe. When we reached our cars, she looked up at me, and smiled. She said, well i guess this is good by for awhile, and you have to promise me that you will come and visit me at school ok? As i nodded my head yes, she hugged me. I hugged back, and then i did something that was completely and utterly insane.
I took my hand, and brushed the bangs away from her eyes. I could see the pretty pink lip stick on her lips, her blue eyes look up towards me questionably and then i slowly moved towards her going in for the kill. My right had slid behind her neck- and then: "Um Ben, I don't think so." Maybe another time.
Ahh- ok. I looked sheepishly for a second, and then trying to act as suave as possible, took my aviators from my pocked, placed them over my eyes, and while walking away, waved- and from over my shoulder said: Talk to you later. I shoved my hands into my pockets, and looked towards the sky. I didn't turn back around, and didn't respond to what she yelled after me. Infact- I don't even remember.
But what i can tell you is this, who ever said to love and to lose is better than to never love at all, is a fucking retard.
The drive home was- well i did what i did best, i tried not think about it, i cranked up some music and blasting Witchdoctor as loud as i could, took the back roads back to my home, so i could put the Saab through its paces.
the only one left, and the most important is CC. Can i still see her one more time?