College girls and more

Lately at UW Oshkosh, i have had an interesting turn of events. I recently decided to try and keep the stress out of my life be just not caring about women. The funny thing is- as soon as i don't care, the women start rolling in. One girl (we will call her Valentine) I met while relaxing at a friends house. Now i had never met Valentine before but i guess that i had really made an impression on her becuase the DAY after i met her, her friends all called me and told me that she really enjoyed me.

They all said that she would really like to get to know me. So i decided that i would try and see where this would go. SO the next day i noticed on my facebook that she had already had friend requested me. So all was good, or so i had thought. Valentine was very very beautiful. She had long curly hair and brown eyes. She was also quite charming.

You see i went out to coffee with her the next week, and had a good time. She came from a well off to do family, and seemed as an all around nice person. I thought that everything was going well. We had the chance to meet up some time and get to know each other a bit more. So after a week or two of us doing the bullshit bullshit and all of that i decide that she thinks that i am not that much of a creep, and ask her out on a date.

So while we are relaxing in my dorm room i pop the question to her. I ask if she would like to go out with me.

* I thought that i had a great date planned out for her. She really enjoys working out and doing sporty stuff. So i thought that bringing her cross country skiing with me and then going to dinner at a nice sushi place. Sounds nice right? well no. It wasn't. Screw me. I can do nothing right. I can't play SC and i defiantly can't make dates*

So moving forward:

So the day comes up and she calls me and tells me that she is very exited in going on our date. I pick her up and then we drive to my place, grab the ski equipment and then head out to go and enjoy the winter wonderland. She hadn't CC skied in awhile and while she did slip and fall, it was overall a god time.

She enjoyed it, and told me that she was having a lot of fun. So still skiing and in the middle of the woods, we stop at a rest station and then i pull out some PP&J. She liked this at well, and enjoyed the food lol. SO after a quick snack we head back out on our skis and start going back to the car.

Now one would think that this would be the start of a good date, or at least the start to something good. The conversation was always easy, never forced and we seemed to get along well.

So after we got back to the car, we drove back to my place and then dropped off the skis. Afterward, while driving back to College, we stop at a really nice sushi place. And me being the nice walk on me mat kind of gentleman that i am, i pay for it and think nothing of it.

Long story short, the end of the night finishes well and i spent the rest of the night in a really really good mood. I had thought that the date went well, and the next day i was defiantly assured of what i thought. Two of her friends call me and begin going batshit insane on me, because they think that i am so cute, we look good together and your so nice balh blah blah. The tell me that she had a very good time, and all of that shit.

So now (With only one week before spring break) Me and her stared to hang out a bit more. She randomly is stopping by my room and cuddles with me, and everything is going well. Except when her friends tell me that she doesn't like me anymore, while at the same time is still ON A DAY TO DAY FUCKING BASIS coming into my room and cuddling with me.

._______________________.

I wasn't thrilled.

So i decided to set things straight and ask her if she would like to go on a second date. She doesn't answer me. I ask her twice in two days, and tells me and i quote "Ohh Ben stop it."

wtf is that.

At this point i have no idea what this bitch wants. All i want to know is what the fuck did i do? Or in this case not do?

Insert long exasperated sigh-



So spring break comes along, and i did get to say good by to her, and during the break i text her- and this is what i get back: (No i am not shitting you, this is exactly what the text said.)

:Who is this?:

me- :Ben?:

That Bitch- .......................................

yep that's right. She doesn't even have the god damn ovaries to text me back. fuck.

So i come back to school, and i am at the gym on monday. WHO DO I SEE? BUT HER!!!!


with another guy- flirting it up, and wearing exactly what she wore when we went to the gym. I have never benched more ever. Incorol i am going to catch and beat your record soon.

So im now out 60-70$ with gas money, and food and that whore is out sweet talking some other guy.

Thank god jill will never me.

FML

thanks for reading, have a good day, and i hope you got rich.

Its college, Get ready

School. The time when i get to go and share a very small closet with another human being. It is also the time when i am forced to live among the demographic of people i have come to hate the most. Yes for you idiots out there than answer to that statement is college kids. Ranking number 3 on my most hated list college kids are right up there with the likes of the phrase "Because you/they can" and Flamers.

So where does this all come into play with my life? In short i hadn't the slightest idea, until i cam to UWO. You see my freshman year at college was spent at UWW. I was hopefully going to get my MBA and go do that kind of thing. However as you will all find out, that is just not going to happen with me anymore. (more on that later) Anyway, being the retard that i am, i had decided to get a random roommate for white water. I wasn't worried about the type of person because hey, i was a freshman and i could handle it.

I got lucky. My room mate was a total kick ass person. He was not a college fool. Me and him got along perfectly. We argued constantly about religion, politics, economics and the general state of things. Basically the run down:

Him: Tan, RIPPED AND CUT LIKE YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Basically an ambacrombie modle. Smart, and generally a funny guy. In a really serious relationship with a girl, had glasses and was alot shorter than me.

Me: (at that time, 1.5 years ago): Fresh on the Cross Country team, i was tan, skinny, and lean.

Anyway me and him got along perfectly. No one wanted to come out and eat with us, because it would always turn into me and him having a really deep conversation/argument about some political/economic issue. So basically it was me and him alone, all the time. I thank him for many things, however the number one thing that i would have to say that really sticks out is the following:

HE BROUGHT MY LAZY ASS TO THE GYM

And now, 145980714058145 protein shakes and hundreds of hours at the gym later, i look good. Really good (if i do say so myself)

Basically at the end of my freshman year at UWW, i was beside myself with grief that i was not coming back to UWW. Instead i was off to UWO to study medicine. So coming into UWO and of course not knowing anyone here, i decided (and hoped) that i would get lucky with another random room mate. god damn. I was so wrong.

My luck sucks. With women, and now i guess with room mates.

When i first arrived at UWO i had almost decided to move out on the street when i first met my roomie. in a nutshell- the college guy. The typical, stupid, arrogant, college guy that i have come to hate. So here i was. Me- opinionated, political, philosophical (and frankly after the summers performance with women, not in a good mood.) And here was my new roomie, a college frat guy.

Dear God.

Basically i can sum it up like this: i new i wasn't going to like him, when he brought up politics and made a complete fool of himself talking to me, after that it was all downhill. He of course, is at college to become a gym teacher- and as you can surmise studies alot, and is a good student.


Back on point here.

Sitting at this college, alone and with no friends, i was pleasantly surprised to find out that one of my co workers from the pool (who i am on good terms with) was also a UWO student. So i called her up, and tried to get to know the social crowd/become big man on campus ext ext. however the typical happened.

Promises were made, dates for going out were made, yet after 2 weeks everything kept falling through. So basically my one "friend" at this school is now flaking out on me, and while she is hot- she is also brain dead, so defiantly not worth the effort. At this point i thought that all hope was lost for me having a life- but then another shot in the dark happened to fall my way.

Let me set the scene for you:

I had just come from the gym, after an intense 2 hour workout. I had quickly taken a shower, and there i was- lufa in hand, water cascading down my man body through my crevasses and canyons that are my abs, when low and behold, she comes walking around the corner.

Gymnast is a girl that i went to elementary school with. While we were never good friends, she was always nice to me and i was always nice back. However when she came around that corner, and (i am presuming she was a bit tipsy to find my ugly mug attractive) she stopped and eye raped the shit out me.

When her brown eyes finally made it to my face her jaw dropped and she said "BEN! omg! its you! I didn't know you went here!"

After pleasant commentaries were exchanged, she had given me her number and promised that we had to go out and party. She said that she felt bad that i was doing nothing that night, and promised to make it up to me.

So next week end, i called her- and you guess it, no pickup. So i txted her once more on Saturday and still nothing. No facebook, no call no nothing. So yep- you guessed it, here i am sitting at UWO with no one, no friends and no life. I am in a good mood.

At this point, i am getting desperate to try and find some group of friends to hang out with. So i do the first thing that catches my eye, student government. Yep. I did it. Just to try and get some where with a group of people. However, the group of people that i would find myself associating with (and still associating with) want to make me stab my eye out.

I ran for Vice President, and a guy that i had met on in my dorm, on my hall- was running for president. I had this great idea for a campaign poster, basically it was me and him standing holding a washcloth, and with text under that said: Don't forget to wash behind your ears! Ben and______ for President/VP 08/09. So we hung a poster in every shower stall on every floor in all the boys and girls bathrooms in the entire dorm. It was funny, i guess- but childish i will admit.

So election day roles around, and you guessed it, i got in for VP but, he didn't get president. So there i was for the first government meeting and holy shit- i was surrounded with retards. As you already may have guessed, they were the feel good happy go luck kids that are always everywhere..........You know kind of like the person that is way to energetic, and thinks that everything is funny? I knew it was bad, when they were all laughing at my sarcastic remarks. Anyway enough of that, it gets better! (for you, but worse for me)

So after a few meetings in, the student government and the hall staff were all working on decorating the hall together. I was in charge of painting the windows, because of my artistic background. I had just finished explaining my idea for my kick ass Sistine chapel idea,and ended my painting prose with these words: "And we can paint it all in rainbow colors YAY (the entire phrase was in a sarcastic, and down tone remark.) Little did i know that at that point, i had just dropped a Hiroshima.


Stop now and think about what i said. Think- how is this going to come back and bite me?

Did i do something wrong?

Think about it- because the next part will blow your minds.


So walking away from the government meeting, and heading back towards my dorm room, i was stopped by the president. She said, ben can i talk to you for a second. I said sure and she pulled me into a stair well.

Here is the bio on the president of student government:

SHE has brown hair, and basically is not that attractive, however she is smart, is in a really DEDICATED relationship, and generally is a pretentious person.

So sitting inside of the stair well, it was just me and her. At this point i still had no idea that i had done something wrong. Until the inevitable.

HER: Ben what you said back there was really condesending.

Me: What? What did i say?

HER: Your comment about how we can make it all rainbow colors yay.

Me: What? why is that bad?

Her: Because there are a lot of people on the staff and the government that are bi sexual, lesbian or gay.

Me (in my thoughts): FUCK.

Me: ya and? I never said anything condescending. It is a stretch of the imagination to try and take what i had said and pull it that far out of context.

*Now here is where Jerry Springer would be proud*

We stopped our conversation mid sentence, because a staff member (an RA basically is a person that looks after a floor in a dorm room. Generally a junior or senior) this RA or the 7th floor came walking by us, and we had both shut up.

Once he was a flight of stairs away however SHE lept back at me with gusto. Basically she was saying something to the effect, that i need to apologize, and that what i said was wrong, and basically i need to watch what i say blah blah blah.

I am standing there looking perplexed. Pulling out my best i don't give a fuck attitude, i proceed to say the following:

You know what president? I don't care. I am not going to apologize. If any of the bi,gay,lesbian people were effected and feel that i was truly out to go and get them with that statement, they need to get over themselves.

Yep get over yourself. that is what i said. You see dear reader- I only have 1 gay friend. I have gone out to dinner with him on many occasions, and i have talked about many many things.

He has told me this: Ben, i hate gay people. to which i respond, but you are gay. His answer is what surprised me the most, and i will always remember it.

"You don't get it. Ben there are two types of gay people. One of them is doing it, to stand out- to cry out and say that hey i am an individual. LOOK AT ME! I AM HERE AND DIFFERENT (basically a flamer). He looked at me and said, but in reality they are hurting the movement. Ben, if you were looking and listening to me now, could you tell that i was gay?" To which i replay- no. He then proceeded to say that people like that are faking it, and need to get over themselves.

Now back to our story.

Do you remember that RA that came walking past me and the President? Well he decided to come back down, and join in on our little argument. BUT! guess what? He is "BI" so now it was president, and RA of the 7th floor vs me.

It wasn't pretty. To this day the RA hates me, and will do anything to write me up, and make my life a living hell.

Me and president are now good friends, and i actually went snowboarding with her over Christmas break.

SO basically, for the first few weeks of school- life sucked. I had no friends, 1 enemy, and my classes were a shit ton of work. The only bright spot on my week was Wednesday day. That was the day that i had anatomy lab, and would spend most of the morning looking at cadavers, cutting into cadavers or observing cadavers. (for those of you that don't know what those are, they are dead people. Embalmed in ethanol. I had an 86 year old Asian women. I named her Trisha. it was hot.)

As great as Trisha was, the best thing were my two lab partners. Both of them were women, blond, and seemed rather taken by me. So i decided to try and purse this little interest of my further.

Thanks for reading!

Hope you enjoyed it.

The start of something good part 8 !

Lets recap!

Date with Blondie:
1st was good (the hottub and smore's always get them)But i throw down the "ohh a hug" line and finds she has a Boyfriend

2nd I was late, and really never occurred (I was late, because of work) Blondie was not excited, in fact she declined to try and salvage the night. So another strike

3rd Kayaking everything went well, and i didn't make any massive screwups

4th Went in for the kill (kiss) and was shot down, really really hard actually. I thought that at this point, me and Blondie were gg no re.

So FAIL to the third degree. That is what was running through my head the entire rest of the week. It was great! Really great! Once again, i somehow attract another member of the opposite sex that i would actually like to be with.

CC: NO DATE. Much sadness T.T

So after the massive fail with Blondie- I had CC to look forward too.

Back at work once again, and it was cloudy- I was trying to think of ways to be continually intoxicated until school started- however being a lifeguard this is rather difficult. So, days went by

Day

Day

Day

And eventually i realize that i am wasting time. I have sitting before me, one of the two most beautiful girls on the planet. Long brown hair, and deep, dark, brown eyes. Just like the eyes, i can't see through her. Her wit, charm- were intoxicating. But there was nothing i could say to her. I don't deserve her. I really don't.

But i tried anyway. I decided to ask her, the day before i left for college. CC? Would you like to go kayaking with me?

her answer? Sure! Sounds fun!

YESsSsSsSsSs!

After closing at the pool- and having the next day for just me and CC, I was exited. To say the least!

So the day came.

Perfect sun, perfect weather, perfect everything. As i was placing the kayaks into the radio active shit water, that is loaded with PCBs and all of the yummy stuff- I saw her. My angel. In a sport braw, and running shorts- she had just come from practice. She had her silky hair in a pony tail (my favorite) and had a bit of sweat still clinging to her arms. It was so pretty, with the early morning sun crating little diamonds on her arms, eye brows, and legs. She was amazing- to me.

So my sparkling gorgeous rowing mate beside me, we pushed off.

It was good. We raced, and generally enjoyed going nuts. I can tell you that i really enjoyed watching her tan and sweaty body work. It was good. Really good.

The conversation was just as magical. We talked! FINALLY! way less awkward, when you are the only two people in earshot! The only interruptions were the seagulls and pelicans.

Afterward we went for coffee, and while CC was not as thrilled with picking people apart as i am, had a good time anyway.

So while we were walking back to our cars, i had one last idea up my sleeve. Invite her for dinner. Dinner i would make for her, at my place.

For some reason, she said yes. And somehow made my perfect day so much more so.

I rushed home, and began to go shopping for some good food.

I only had a few hours till she came, and i wanted to cook something good!!

 Anyway where was i? Ohh yes- Cooking and getting supplies ready for me and CC's dinner (at my place) date thingy. So after coming home from that date, my ego was good, and i rushed off to the store to get the needed cooking supplies. Shopping didn't take long, and after a quick rinse in the shower, had about 2 hours till CC came over.

At the moment the house was mine! Parents were away visiting some relative and my sister was sleeping over at a friends house. Perfect right? Or at least i thought so. To pass the time i played a few games of chess, and did a few chess puzzles. After killing an hour, and with only 30min or so to go- i decided to get ready. I prepped the kitchen, greased the pans, and got ready for an enchanting evening with CC.

Well 8:00 Rolled around, and i was expecting her any minuet.

8:05 Fashionably late right?

8:10 She is going to call right?

8:15 No call? No show?

8:20 I txt her.

8:25 (no response, still not here)

8:30 I call her (voicemail)

8:35 I am really getting annoyed

8:40 Fuck it.

So there i was- 8:45, kitchen all ready to go, plates out- candles ready, very HIGH QUALITY FOOD siting before me (which cost my alot) and now i just have me and my dog to keep me company. I was annoyed, actually a better word would be pissed. But i decide hell- make the best of it right? So i crank up so massive techno with the house stereo, and light the grill and make me (and my dog) the best breakfast for dinner meal ever!

I fed my dog the first course, and she ate that in about two seconds- looking up at me, she gave me the "HI!iwantmoreplznow?" look so i obliged. After eating my first course i decided to cook her the second as well.

All was good (not) there i was making dinner for my self, with two candles lit- and two plates at the table. After feeding my dog her course, and cleaning up- i just had me, the table and my peanut better french toast waiting for me. I must have looked pathetic sitting at that table by my self, eating by my self, so the only thing left to do now, was drink by my self.

I had purchased some very good booze for just this kind of situation. Bombay Saffire, Campari, and some tribuno sweet vermouth.

Basically your standard ingredients to create my favorite of all cocktails, the Negroni.

Get a rock glass, fill with ice.

Then take two parts fine gin (ie. Bombay)

One part Campari

and One part sweet vermouth

Stir together, and garnish with a nice chunk of orange.

And there you go! one of my top three favorite drinks!

So basically, after cleaning the plates, deciding that life was pointless- and also deciding to drink myself into the ground, i headed out to the hot tub (naked). Hope my neighbors didn't see my appendage, especially all small and shrunken because of the cold lol. Any way, after a few trips back and forth between the hot tub and my house (had to bring the booze bottles)I was finally able to settle down.

Sitting in my favorite corner of the tub, i cranked the heat, turned off the jets- and just sat. My psyche slowly spiraled down into oblivion as my bottle of Bombay slowly started to drain. I began to think about everything,and spiraled down from there. I believe that this is the point at which my misanthropic attitude came about. Sitting alone, in a not tub getting dangerously intoxicated.

I slowly began to realize a few things while in my drunken stupor.

1. Women can die
2. Women can die
3. What did i do wrong?
4. Why do i have this kind of luck?
5. How come my bottle is empty?
6. Humanity can blow me

Basically that is all i can tell you fine folks of TL- because the next thing i remember is me, walking up lying face down on the kitchen floor, naked- and my dog licking me. Tomorrow i had to go to school, and my splitting headache didn't make matters any better either.

The rest of two days were really uneventful. I was not going to call CC and she didn't seem to worried that she had missed our date, not call or txt back- or for that matter, made any gesture towards me.

The start of something good part 7 !

Well i had to drive across town. Blondie was planning to meet me at some crazy cafe i had never been to. So while i was driving there, i sadly had all of my thoughts to my self. I was trying to recap what had happened over the summer. So far nothing good was coming to mind. All I could think of was how stupid i had been. I didn't and couldn't believe that i had met the two most amazing women. Two women that i actually would have considered dating. Two women that i would easily have come out of the single life for.

CC: 5'5 110 Cross Country Runner
GPA/IQ 4.0/high
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Hazel
Bra Size: Low C High B
Butt: TLP (Tight Little Package) Great runner but

Personality: Fiery, doesn't take anything from anyone, and has a huge chip on her shoulder. Very vulnerable and hurt inside, but looking on the outside you would never know. I know that this is a terrible analogy but I'm serious when i say- she acts exactly like Asuka from Eva and has the same problems. If she doesn't like you, you will know it. She will not lift a finger for you. But if your lucky enough to be on her good side, she will try and give you the world. Fun loving and an adventurer she always make my heart beat faster, and my brain think faster when i am talking with her.

Status: (Single) Friend Zone, but doesn't act like it. In fact I could say with utmost certainty that she indeed had a crush on me, at one point during the summer.

Future Plans: Finish her senior year in high school

Then of course, lets not forget blondie

Blondie: 5'3 125 Band Girl
GPA/IQ: 3.7/High
Hair: Blond (duh)
Eyes: Crystal Blue
Bra Size: Mid C
Butt: Also sports a swimmers TLP. Not to be confused with a runner butt, but imo just as nice on the right person.

Personality: Where CC is Fire, Blondie is Water. Cool, Calm, and collected, blondie is always indecisive about making decisions. She will go with the flow. Blondie is so amazing to me because (being a huge misanthrope) I am absolutely amazed by her ability to do the following: Being good just for goodness sake. Blondie is my better half, my moral compass and i come to her to be a stabilizing force. she comes to me likewise for scathing advice, and because (and i quote) "Ben you always make me laugh."

Status: (Taken) Friend Zone, but doesn't act like it.

Future Plans: Going to her freshman year in college, out of state.

As i recapped the summer while driving, i came to a few conclusions.

1. I'm an idiot.
2. I'm an idiot.
3. These girls deserve better than me
4. I never can get anything right.
5. Right now, CC needs a friend. I will be that stabilizing rock, the guy that will not turn on her. I value her friendship over anything in this world. At this time I didn't want to risk her friendship and her confidence in me over my selfish desire for a relationship.
6. Blondie has a boyfriend, and no matter what- I don't think that even me my arrogant and cocky/funny self is going to be able to break them apart.

As i pulled into the parking lot of the cafe, i already had a bad feeling about this date. the place looked like a mac fags/Greenpeace/save the planet/I love obama/hippy joint. And you know what? I couldn't have been more right. I slowly watched a pair of scene kids walk through the front door, and some lady with a small ratdog.

Sitting on the bench, i was suddenly surprised to find someone placing their hands over my face. The old guess who routine ensued, and my first guess was Al gore. Sadly i was wrong, but on the flip side when i turned around, i was face to face with blondie.

We said the traditional high, how are you thing- ya whatever. She told me that she was so happy that she could see me one last time before going to college and asked for my AIM and all of that. As we walked in side, my worst fears were suddenly confirmed. (HOLY SHIT this place was a hippy joint, not a dead animal on a plate in the entire restaurant's. They didn't even serve milk. T.T)

However i tried to re-compose myself, but blondie was far to quick. "Well Ben i see that you got up on the right side of the bed today. Do you want to go some place else?" (Shit. She actually saw that.) So i stammered out some excuse and before i new it, i was sitting in the back corner, looking over a menu that was 99.8% salads. And the rest sandwiches. But here is the real catch, everything was really really expensive. For GREENS AND CARROTS PASUIODHFSODUFHOAUIFDHAIOSF!!!!!!111!!!!!11!!!

While all of that was going on inside of my head, me and blondie slid into easy conversation. After talking about how packing was going and if she was exited for college, blondie decided to play my favorite game. Tear people apart that come to coffee places, and do so to do more than socialize and drink coffee. She looked my right in the eye, and i was slowly being sucked into her beautiful blues. When she told me- Ben do you know why i picked this place? Because i know that there would be a ton of fun people to pick apart. She winked at me, and gave the first sorry victim a run down.

hilariously enough- she picked one of the scene girls that had walked in earlier. i don't remember exactly what she had said, however i do remember that it was very funny. She had gotten better at my favorite game, and she had done so very quickly.

Before long our food had arrived and we were both trying to eat our green, plant shit. I trying to be safe, ordered a sandwich. However it sucked.

Bun
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
GreenShit
Bun

I shit you not, that is what my "sandwich" looked like. I couldn't fit my mouth around it. So i had some akward moments trying to eat this thing, while not looking like a complete retard. Blondie on the other hand had ordered some kind of fruit salad, and spent most of the meal laughing at me, my sandwich, my scathing review of said sandwich, and then me trying to eat said sandwich.

Basically all i can say is that, I'm glad that she had a good time.

After eating me and her decided to walk along the river and get some coffee. While walking we began to talk about everything. Politics mostly (thank god she wasn't a retard about the elections.) instead she had some interesting views. As we walked farther and farther, i directed to the part of town i new best. The wharfs. Because i am a pretty big sailor, i brought her out to a deserted one, and we sat there in sun, legs hanging off the side, watching the boats slip by.

I cannot possibly begin to write everything that was said between us, because we sat there for 2 hours. it was crazy. i remember her telling me that my analogy of comparing a lap dance to summer was defiantly right. (For those of you that are confused, i had on an earlier date, compared summer to getting a lap dance from a stripper. My analogy was this: Summer is like a lap dance. at first, your kind of nervous/awkward about it because you don't know what to expect from the stripper/summer. Then about half way through you really start getting into it, and soon your just having a great time. Then the dance ends, way too soon, and before you know it, your out money, and school is about to begin. All of that is racing through your mind as she walks away.)

Anyway, she was describing it out to me, and thought that it fit, and hit the nail on the head. As we laughed and joked, we slowly started to walk back towards the cafe. When we reached our cars, she looked up at me, and smiled. She said, well i guess this is good by for awhile, and you have to promise me that you will come and visit me at school ok? As i nodded my head yes, she hugged me. I hugged back, and then i did something that was completely and utterly insane.

I took my hand, and brushed the bangs away from her eyes. I could see the pretty pink lip stick on her lips, her blue eyes look up towards me questionably and then i slowly moved towards her going in for the kill. My right had slid behind her neck- and then: "Um Ben, I don't think so." Maybe another time.

..............Shit

Ahh- ok. I looked sheepishly for a second, and then trying to act as suave as possible, took my aviators from my pocked, placed them over my eyes, and while walking away, waved- and from over my shoulder said: Talk to you later. I shoved my hands into my pockets, and looked towards the sky. I didn't turn back around, and didn't respond to what she yelled after me. Infact- I don't even remember.

But what i can tell you is this, who ever said to love and to lose is better than to never love at all, is a fucking retard.

The drive home was- well i did what i did best, i tried not think about it, i cranked up some music and blasting Witchdoctor as loud as i could, took the back roads back to my home, so i could put the Saab through its paces.

the only one left, and the most important is CC. Can i still see her one more time?

The start of something good part 6!

Well after the sailing excursion, frank had headed off to college, and i only had 3 weeks left, before i to had to go and partake in higher education. As is the norm with my summers, nothing had happened. I was sad, and depressed. How could i fuck up two relationships with two very special people? Well it didn't matter. CC and I were back to our old friend status. Word got out about our little sailing thing, and holyshit...... Every single girl was suddenly asking me when i was going to take them sailing.

Surprisingly it sucked. CC and me were always a topic on everyone's lips at the pool. However now after the sailing thing, we suddenly became the new thing. No longer did people speculate about our love affairs (or lack there of) instead the cretins decided to go balls and vagoos to the wall, and just belt their thoughts to CC and me. It was embarrassing. It placed me and CC's relationship into an even more precarious position. Things were starting to turn almost awkward between us. I needed to try and do something that would leave us on a good note.

Day after day rolled by, and i couldn't think of any new or original ideas- that would somehow spark her into remembering the relationship that we once had at the beginning of summer. My ego was crushed, and CC was becoming more and more distant. Cross Country running camp was starting up again (basically it is a before the season running practice that all the good runners go to, to get in running shape before the season begins. Build on your mileage base or something like that.) Anyway, CC was getting more and more consumed with the upcoming Cross Country season, and considering the fact that she was a senior- she wanted to do well, and place well in the state running championships. She had gone there as a JunioR, however she didn't place. It was her senior goal to go this year and place well.

So with CC mostly distracted for these ending weeks of summer, my mind wandered back to that shot in the dark (literally) Blondie. After the terrible disaster of your dinner date, i didn't want to call her and put her through some awkward conversation, and put her under the pressure of finding an excuse to say no to me. I knew (from what little i did know of her) that she was ohh so nice. She is my better half, with out a doubt in my mind. She is the type of person that does nice things because they are NICE. Because of this i didn't want to be going on a date with her, just because of her pity.


Well i had finally gotten up the nerve to ask her, and i thought that i had created the perfect date. Kayaking in a river that runs through our city, stopping and getting some coffe and then kayaking back. She loved the idea, and told me that she would meet me down by the wharf the next day. I was exited!! She sounded genuinely exited to hear my voice, and didn't sound like it was too much of a chore to come and chill with me. (The best part of all though, was simply the fact that she genuinely seemed happy to talk to me.)

Well the weather for the next day looked promising, and nice and sunny. When i woke up the next morning, bright and early to strap thy kayaks. But then the inevitable happened. CLOUDS FUCK THEM. Yes dear reader, clouds. Lots of them. No sun, nothing. I was worried to say the least. As i drove down to the wharf, i was getting more and more worried about how this date would turn out, or even if it would start.

I was waiting for about 5min and then blondie pulled up into the parking space next to me. I got out and was like *SIGH* "I don't know if the weather is going to hold out." Want to just get coffee?

Then she said the most amazing thing: "NO, i want to go kayaking with you. regardless of the weather. I know that it will hold out. I promise." I gave her a quisling look, *because hey lets face it, if it's one thing girls don't know- its the weather.*

So i threw aside my doubt and got the kayaks into the river without to much of a fuss. We both got in, and soon enough- me and blondie were kayaking through a dirty PCB filled shit water radioactive mutant carp river. And you know what? I wouldn't of had it any other way. The date was perfect. Near the end of our little kayaking excursion, it was just me and her holding our kayaks to each other, sitting in the middle of a river- smooth as glass, with a misty rainy velveteen curtain hanging around us. We talked about everything, music, art, politics, morality, eithics- everything that we couldn't talk about during our first encounter, i was now finally able to pick her mind.

I liked what i found. She was smart, funny, and unlike most girls not an airhead. I had found someone, that despite my mostly utter distaste for human beings, began to really enjoy. The paddle back was just as heavenly. The date was going perfectly and soon coffee was coming up. (and the biggest test of how much i really like her)

Now for me i like to judge girls by their choice in coffee. I don't want a girl that is going to drink some "Fappichinomochalatewhitechocolateholdthemilksoylatewithafrenchpress." type of shit drink.

I want to hear two things:
1. Americano
2. Expresso

So walking into the coffee shop (my favorite *AND NO YOU FUCKERS IT IS NOT STARBUX) i watched her walk up to the counter, open her mouth and say- "I would like an expresso, three shots please."

Yep that was it. That was the clincher, she was with out a doubt a keeper. (that was currently in a relationship) So i sat down with my americano, and i began to do one of my most favorite pastimes. Pick apart people sitting in a coffee house. Particularly, the work fags who bring the fucking office to the coffee shop, and show everyone how much work they are doing on their lap top. (Damn pretentious fuckers.) Needless to say, she enjoyed my little game, and she also tried it out. And i must say she was quite good.

The end of the date was drawing near, and i was walking her back to her car, i turned said goodbye, and this time with the arms in the hug position returned her hug. Everything was perfect.

However after the date, i was snapped back to reality. I had to go to work, it was raining, and i had to see CC.

Of course my boss was my only confidant through this rather melancholy time. She was always there to keep me slightly optimistic, and always had some rather scathing, yet helpful advice. After another long conversation after Another Day saving kids from the pool, she told me this.

"Also ben, i hate to say this but, CC has told me (when i have asked her about you and her) that she doesn't find you physically attractive. But Ben i want you to know that CC was dodging lots of questions. That always tells me that there is something more, much more. So i can tell you for a fact that she does care very much for you. She may even be confused about how she feels towards you, and maybe even though she has a crush, will not come to except the feelings she has toward you. I am not sure if she cares for you in the way you would like. You may just be the back up guy, the picker-uper. I had one, and i never dated him, and i think that you may be in this position.
















What........................?


















What did she just say?


























.....................no way?






























After this conversation, everything stopped. I was stunned. NO i was lost. Was she right? She had to be right. Right?

I couldn't fathom this.....I had to know for sure, was there anything? Was there EVER anything? Was i really that desperate and pathetic about the girl of my dreams falling into my lap that I COULDN'T SEE ANY OF THE SIGNS?



I had to sit and think about CC. I had to try and come up with a reason as to why.....as to what i should do.

*I hate making big decisions when it comes to relationships with people. So i did what came naturally to me, run away.*

So i called blondie

When i called her, she seemed genuinely exited to hear my voice, i asked her if she would like to do breakfast and coffee, at a great place near her house. She liked the idea, and said she would meet me there at 10:00. However, she wouldn't be able to stay long, because she was packing, and planing to leave to her out of state college the same day.

I had to wait three days.

Life at my pool was shit. I was not the same, everyone knew it. Even CC. It was like, i was a sad puppy, and all she could do to comfort me was to just, sit with me. We didn't talk all that much. But i would always find myself sitting next to her, or her near me. I can honestly say, we only had 2-3 conversations those days. It rained. I remember that those days were fucking cold, and rainy at the pool. I have never felt more sick. My youthful extroverted some times slightly to arrogant self turned into the narcissistic misanthropic personality that i have yet to shake myself out of.

The three days were up. The last time i would see Blondie was today. I got up, dressed nice (and noticed that it was actually sunny for once this goddamn week.)

The start of something good part 5!

So there i was sitting on my now soaking towel, listening to one of the city's bureaucrats tell all of the city lifeguard teams about the practice schedule for tonight, strategies ext ext. I had created a plan, looking over my shoulder, CC was sitting there, brown hair clinging in her face smiling at me. Looking back across our little powwow, Blondie was standing just a bit away. I had to try and make this work. Both girls wanted me in the F-zone, but didn't act like it. I had to try and convince one of them that i was worth it.

The plan? Use Blondie to make CC jealous, and go from there.

I was suddenly snapped out of my thoughts as CC jumped up, and grabbing my arm began to drag/pull me towards our first event. I had to swim, jump pretty much do everything to try and make the city look good. I really didn't get a chance to talk to CC or Blondie, because we were either practicing or at different ends of the pool. Then finally the moment came, me and CC had our big even togeather. As we were crouched by the side of the pool in the ready position, i noticed that all 3 of the other pools were sporting guy+guy teams while me and CC were the only Girl+guy team. I was hoping that we could win. I knew that it was just practice but hey, i am just competitive like that.

With a sound of a whistle we were off. With the rescue tube race, one person is on the bottom, the other on the top. Once you swim 25 yards you switch positions, and race back. Well i was on the top first. Me and CC defiantly were (how do i say this, close?) I mean for Christ sake, she is pretty much spooning with me, and on the way back i will be returning the favor. Anyway, i really didn't think too much about the race, my mind was preoccupied by far more important things. Those things mainly being the hot girl lifeguard right below me. As me and CC reached the 25yard mark, we made our switch and then i was the "lifesaver" on the bottom. Kick off as hard as i could, me and CC began the hard swim back. I only noticed that we were WAY in first when me and CC were about 15ft from the wall. Once we finished, CC and I let out a phelpsish scream/hug thing. It was hot. There was my girl (and me) yelling our lungs out in the night air, acting like complete fools- but i didn't care less. We had just kicked some massive ass. You know that your girl is a keeper when she likes winning as much as you do, and is physically fit enough to win lol. Luckily for me, CC was both.

That was the highlight of the night, as far as sporting events were concerned. However the night was far from over for me. In between some of the practice events, i was swimming in the diving well. The night had gotten colder, and considering that my nipples could cut glass- and was experiencing shrinkage, decided to go back into the deliciously warm water. As i was minding my own business, treading water and generally trying to stay warm, i felt something brush my legs. I quickly looked down, and saw a tight little but, with blond hair swimming about 5ft below me. As this mermaid of the pool surfaced, it was none other than blondie. Brushing the water out of her eyes, she had greeted me with a huge grin, and asked how i was.

What could i say? I was good. Very good. I began to talk/flirt with blondie, not really thinking about what i was doing. I dropped my game for a second, and it cost me. After me and blondie had gotten done talking, about how cold it was- Lifeguard competition ext. She suddenly was called by her LG team and had to go. Here is where the trouble starts. A boy lifeguard from my pool, who i am kind of friends with, had decided to come over halfway into me and blondies conversation, and now that me and him were alone, asked me a question that i wish i would have never answered.

I was giving him the long version, and unbeknown to me CC was chilling in the water within hearing distance of me and my guy friend. From what i gathered she heard every word. Every word. Everything. I said it all, how me and Blondie met, the hug, the great conversations- but i left out the "she has a bf" part- because hey lets face it, I want to sound like top shit. I thought everything was cool, and good until the inevitable. As we were wrapping up practice for the night, me and CC were once again sitting on my towel (she didn't want to get her's wet) and Blondie walked by. Of course i really couldn't blame this on blondie because she had no idea who CC even was. Basically this is the culmination of the evening. Everything from this point goes downhill- fast.

Blondie says hi, I say hi, and then she say's the stupid. "Ben hey i would love to out to eat sushi with you this thurs. I can't wait, see you then!" Yep you read it right. That was said right in front of CC. DAMN YOU BLONDIE (but not really) Well as you guessed, when blondie walked away, CC looked at me- and when i looked into her pretty eyes, i saw, well i saw something that i didn't like to see. All CC said to me was, "So is that the girl you like?"

The car ride home was quiet. I couldn't say anything to CC. I just couldn't. There was an odd air about us now. Something wasn't right. The slide, the night- everything leading up till then was great. But now, only silence. I couldn't think of anything to say. (and coming from at extrovert like me, is a very very bad sign) After dropping CC off, i had no idea what to do. I couldn't talk to anyone, no one would understand, or care. The girl that i truly cared for, may now be an impossibility. All because of my vanity of trying to find another summer fling.

Work sucked. It really sucked. Me and CC went from having a fun flirty fun, to just friends for sure. She was mature enough to try and not be selfish, or really i cannot say. I just don't know guys. I don't know what she was thinking, or if she was even thinking about me. About US. I knew that she had told me to "never turn on me" don't even do anything to me Ben. But CC never acted like she actually would mind me and her going to the next level in a relationship. At the time, i didn't want to do anything that would hurt her. I valued her friendship so much, that the thought of risking my most heartfelt companion on a few gut feelings of mine, was not enough of a justification for me. I thought that the best that i could do for her (CC) at the time, was be her friend. I thought that i should give her time to recover from everything that had happened to her, and for now be a steady and firm friend. I regret that i had never said anything that summer.

As the days rolled by, and Thursday was coming closer and closer, work began to suck more and more. CC was more distant, less flirty. I missed the looks, i missed the glances. I missed everything, so in one last desperate attempt to try and regain some of our flame, i pulled out one of my aces. Sailing. I had been sailing since i could walk. My dad races boats, and while we do not own one, I have had plenty of experience racing sailboats. One day as me and CC sat down, and were eating lunch, i asked if she would like to go up and sail with me. She gave me this odd look, and i tried to recover quickly.

CC "thought she knew" that i liked Blondie, but the opposite was true. I didn't want to seem like a cheat or womanizer in her eyes, so i did something crazy, which sank me deeper into my whole. I was digging down and down. I said the following (probably one of the worst things to ever come from my hole) "Well i mean, Frank is coming too (If you don't know who frank is, go back and read the rest of my blogs. To shortly try and sum up Franks relationship to CC and me, it is the following: Mutual and long friend to me (known since kindergarten, and Totally head over heels for CC. CC is aware of this, and doesn't share his feelings of compassion.) I tried to throw it off as a get together, not a date- or some romantic thing. I could never have been more wrong.

In my head, i wanted to come clean with CC tell her, that really she is the one. I don't want to go and do friend things with you, i want to date you. Sadly my actions spoke a different tune. One the upside, at least CC said yes. Me, Frank, and CC would have the day to ourselves.

So Thursday rolled around, and for those of you that had forgotten, i had a date. A date with blondie. Another girl, who F-zones me, but then acts differently. That day at work as INSANE. Hottest day of the month for sure, and it was City free day. Basically if you are a city resident, and come to the pool at 5pm you get in free. Also because it was really hot that day, we stayed open longer- till 8pm. Well my date was at 9pm so i thought i was going to be fine.

NO NO FUCK NO i was not fine. Mess after Mess happened at the end of the night, a fight- missing child omg it was terrible. Basically by the time i had changed from work and made myself look fairly presentable, i was late. Jogging from my car, and closing in on the sushi bar- i noticed Blondie sitting on a city bench waiting for me. I grabbed her hand, and led her inside.

Well because of me being late, really late for that matter- the sushi joint had closed the doors, and were not seating. Great. I throw away CC and now, Blondie isn't looking much better. You see, i had no backup plan. It was now 10pm, on a Thursday. Blondie lives half an hour away from me, so no going back to my place. There was nothing open, nothing for us to do. Before i could come up with an idea, blondie told me that it was ok, and that she was going to back home, and hang out with her older sister (who i guess had just came home from Spain.) I let out a grin, and said "ya im really sorry. about tonight. We should still go out sometime though?" Blondie looked at me, and not to enthusiastically said "sure, call me some time."

The drive back to my house was one of the longest trips ever. Even though i hit every green light. I had nothing to look forward to. Friday was tomorrow, and i had to chill with frank and CC. Great. Another lie, that i didn't mean to fabricate. Everything was going downhill. Blondie didn't seem very impressed with our "date" if you could call it that, and CC now thought that i had no interest in her.

What the hell was i supposed to do? (I'm sure that you TL guys are going to love laughing at me *especially fake_steve* at this point in the story.)

Well the sun rose on Friday. Like it always does. I got ready, and because i was going to be the one driving (1.5hrs to my favorite sailing bay) i had to think of something to try and pull my brain away from numbing reality. Frank and CC arrived at my place on time, everything was good. Everyone acted civil, and like old friends. Because hey lets face it we were. But now CC didn't have the spark for me. Of course she was still fun, still a blast, but i felt that everything was lost.

The drive up to my favorite beach was actually fairly enjoyable, we joked around a lot. Well me and Fank did, CC just sat in back and ate pretzels most of the time. I had to try hard to include her in the conversation and share a few laughs with us. I was trying to figure out what she was looking at, she spent forever staring out the window. One thing that definitely picked up the conversation was when i began to make fun of frank. You see frank was going to an engineering school, and because the girl guy raio is something to the effect of 10-1 I told frank to take a good look at CC. Because it is going to be the last pretty girl you are going to be seeing for awhile. Everyone shared a few lol's.

Needless to say, we arrived at my favorite beach not too worse for the wear. As i stepped out of my car, i looked to the sky. The weather was perfect, but i could tell that it was going to rain, sometime later tonight. As we all gathered our stuff out of the trunk, we began the walk to the beach.

The first half of the day was great, we went swimming, played ultimate Frisbee (CC runners sport)and generally had a good time. After lunch, i had finally decided to go sailing. Now frank, while not a good sailor, had at least some experience. He had at least been on a sailboat. CC on the other hand, never had sailed. And told me that it looked boring, and decided to bring her towel, and some food. I warned her that she probably shouldn't because it is going to be more exiting than she may think, but she didn't listen.

Now the boat that i would be commandeering is called a 13' Hunter. Now the boat is only made for 4 people max. It's fairly small, very agile, and in even the smallest swells you will get wet. When we pushed off, and all of us were on the hunter- i was finally in my element. I pulled out my aviators, and pulling a jack sparrow look, piloted us out of the bay and into lake Michigan. COOKING WITH GASSSSSSSSS the wind was great!!!! There were a few white caps on the lake, and with a boat so small- the wind speed took us flying! Thankfully it was a weekday, and near the end of the summer, so there were not too many stupid power boaters to get in our way.

I tightened the main sheet, and pulling a long reach against the wind with the boat, began to fly. Now for those of you that have never seen a sailboat, or sailed- something very odd begins to happen. When the wind begins to push on the sail, the boat begins to tip. In bigger boats, tipping over is really an impossibility, but trust me in these little hunters, it felt (for the first time sailor at least) that we were going to die. CC had expected a nice and graceful ride. We got and I made sure to try and push the boat to the limits. Water was splashing over the deck, and at many times during our sail, our rail was in the water.

After CC had finally gotten over the initial fear of "holyshitweretippingslowdownweregoingtodie!!!!" She began to love every second of it. I was looking like a complete bad ass, pulling lines, driving and piloting this little rocket, while frank and CC hung on for their lives. It was great! Everything in the boat was soaking in under 5 min (which in a way is a bad thing, because CC had her towel.

After about 2 hours of our little adventure, CC was finally getting the hang of it. I showed her how the sails work, and what to look for on the surface of the water. I showed her how to find wind direction, and to look for gusts of wind. She was really getting the hang of it. I tried to coax her into driving, but she declined.

The sailing was great. Everything went smoothly, and i know for a fact that some time during the ride, i accidentally grabbed a handful of CC ass. For all of those skeptics out there, yes it was an accident, i was trying to grab the jib sheet. Needless to say, accident of not, it felt great.

The ride home in the car, was exiting. CC loved the Sailing, and wanted to go more, everything seemed well. I went to sleep that night a happy man.

The start of something good part 4!

After an ego deflating evening at my house, i was less than joyous to begin my day, early- teaching little brats to not drown. It's days like this that some times i just want to hold those little bundles of joy under, till the bubbles stop.

Arriving at work, i looked up at the white board and noticed something. The City wide lifeguard competition. I had almost forgotten. Basically the LG comp is a way for all of the lifeguards who were on swim team to go and strut their stuff to their bosses, and show that they kick ass at saving minorities. Me being the egotistical bastard that i am, had to sign up. As i went and found the sign up sheet- something grabbed me. My name was already on the "varsity team" right below CC.

I had to stop for a second. I didn't have to work yesterday, and I was fairly certain that CC did. So she signed up, and i guess that she new that i also had been on swim team as a kid. But here is the catch. One of the events is called the "rescue tube tow race" Basically the best way i can describe this to you is this way: All of you should know what a swimming noodle looks like. The long things yada yada... Anyway Lifeguards have pretty much the same thing, only ours look more professional, and less kiddy walmarty. OK so imagine yourself standing in a pool. The noodle is under your arm pits, and you are grabbing someone from behind. You hold your "victim" from underneath their armpits. Now to "swim them to safty" the only way you can do so, is if you begin to slide on your back, and kick with your legs.

Hopefully that can kind of give you an idea of what i am talking about here. Basically you get really really personal with your victim. Normally you can keep some level of comfort- but when you are racing and kicking as hard as you can- well you get the idea. What is weird here is that CC had signed herself and me up for this event. I had no idea why- my boss (the one who likes me and works at my pool) has had many conversations with me about CC. She has told me that while CC has said things to the effect of REALLY enjoying my company, she doesn't find me physically attractive. (Basically we are talking about some grade A+ Friend zone material here)

You see the thing about the F-zone is that it is a black hole. Once you are in, you cannot escape it. It sucks everything into it. I pity the man that does not foresee the inevitable and try's to purse a romantic relationship. If you are dumb enough to try something the following will happen: (in no particular order)
-loss of testosterone
-becoming a bitch slave to her
-spending more and more money
-spending more and more time
-spending more and more time crying
-spending more and more time wishing

Ya you get the point. Basically looking at the above from an investment point of view you put a lot in- and get no return. It is the bane of men this friend zone.

Well it just so happens that with my luck, i am very very well versed at what constitutes friend zone status. I was not in it. CC and i had something between us. I made very sure that i was not sugarcoating some BS. I new this for a genuine fact. I just couldn't prove it. (now your all thinking, lol misrah is a delusional boy in F-zone LOL) but before you write this off- i beg of you keep going! because well just because.

Anyway, at that day at work CC wasn't working- so the day was rather bland. The only really kicker was near the end of the day, our boss gave the staff announcement about the LG comp- and how in 3 days there was going to be a practice session that was mandatory for the "varsity" squad. So with that on my plate, i tried to go through the rest of the few days by laying low. I didn't know where i stood with Blondie or CC, or at least not yet.

Sadly the three days leading up to the LG comp practice were pretty lame (no CC working with me) On the other hand tho- i guess that me and Blondie were now a thing on everybody's mind. My boss brought the fact that Me and Blondie were a thing. I tried to explain to her that we were meant to be, and that i don't care if she had a boyfriend. My boss didn't like this very much and told me two pieces of advice that i wish i would have listened too at the time.

1. CC will not put up with any of this BS
2. You don't have a chance in hell with blondie (if you want a romantic relationship)

I looked at my boss and Testosterone flowing hard- told her, HA! Just wait, it has never stopped me before. Me and CC have something, and if we don't Blondie has fallen for me hard. Hook Line and sicker Mother Fucker.

Needless to say my boss wasn't impressed- and told me to go and scrub the seagull poop off of the pool deck. Mean boss lady.
*ego crush*

Fast forwarding to the day of the LG comp practice, me and CC were finally working together! woo. As usual we did all types of "flirty things" However in my mind- it was nothing definite. I am a very flirty person by nature. Back when i was a little kid, my mom always sent me to Christan camps during the summer (that is a story for another time). Evey year i would get in trouble for flirting to much, and i was told 3145435 times to "leave room for Jesus" and all of the Christan dogma. So normal flirting aside- me and CC had a normal day. Near the end of the day, she asked me if i was going to the LG comp practice. Of course i said yes, and offered her a ride- which she accepted.

The ride there was nothing special, nothing happened- just fun light easy conversation. For some reason i just love talking to the brunette girl- with the cute smile. I couldn't get enough. So walking up to the pool where the LG comp practice was supposed to take place (this is the pool that i hate, the one where i had met blondie.) The pool is brand new, and had some really tall and fun water slides, and what not. Walking through the gates- towel in hand and my gorgeous sidekick by my side i felt great. This would be great- the weather was warm, the water nice- and most importantly the water slides were on!!!!

Looking at CC i looked her in the eye and with a 4 year old grin, dropped my towel and said "race you to the top!" Running up the 8 flights of stairs CC was soon to catch up- and i certainly didn't mind her passing me. (yes i let her) Damn she looks good in a swim suit. Getting to the top- I went for the covered tube slide, coincidentally so did CC. I got there first, and surprisingly when i was just about to hurl myself feet first down the slide, i felt two muscular smooth legs pass between my arms. I turned around as best as i could before CC kicked us off and we were flying down the slide.

The leg was great. (so was the ride i guess) Anyway about halfway down i made the comment "Glad you shaved!" To which she replied "All for you bennybobobbo" (it is a fucking gay ass name that everyone calls me- said more so out of embarrassing spite than anything (or at least i hope so) Anyway reaching the bottom, i hopped out from between her legs and started to sprint back up to the top. There were only a few handfuls of guards there at the time. (Me and CC had come early to enjoy some of the water slides.) Reaching the top of the water slides, I hopped in first- until CC came up behind me and saying that she wanted to go first- promptly placed herself between my legs.

Suddenly she stopped, her head snapped around and with an interesting look on her face she said "Ben glad you shaved." I must have looked at my legs because she began to giggle and call me an idiot. Slightly ashamed i pushed off and we flew threw the darkness. I guess we were racing or something because CC took the most hydrodynamical position she could on my body- she started to lay against me, head directly on my stomach, her hands gripping my legs hard. WE FUCKING FLEW THREW THAT SLIDE. (Ironically my heart rate also jumped a few beats) After about 15 more min of this type of, i go first you go first (with me making a few sexual innuendos- practice finally commenced.

Me and CC were standing with the rest of the life guards form our pool, and while we were sitting there listening to the rundown of rules, times, positions game plans ext ext. My eye saw something. Blondie. She was here to- i guess to swim in the LG comp. Suddenly i was conflicted. Here i was sitting on a towel with a pretty brunette that wants me to stay in F-Zone, but doesn't act like it. And not 50 feet away from me is a pretty blond, who wants me to stay in F-zone but doesn't act like it.

So what do i do? I proceed to fuck up this evening more so than i could have imagined. I was feeling good about my self, to me CC was coming around to me- and i began to feel something that night between me and her. I started to zone out of our pre-practice speech and began to think. How can i push CC to like me just that much more? I had one good idea that i thought at the time would work perfectly. Use Blondie to make CC jealous. What could go wrong?

More to come

The start of something good Part 3 !

As the day started that day, i tried to have my lifeguard rotation follow hers- or at the very least have our break together. Sadly none of the above happened, and i was stuck looking at her golden hair from afar. I feel bad for everyone that was swimming in my area, because i was far to distracted with her- than to worry about your worthless lives. Luckily no one died.

The whole time i was sitting on my chair, i was trying to think of a plan to hang out with her, without sounding like a creeper. About halfway through the day- i thought of it.

*My house is located by some woods, and is actually quite nice. We also have a fire pit and hottub, and a trampoline (that i had to buy: Parents are cheep)*

So i was thinking about what i can offer people as far as a good time goes, and i thought of the most obvious. SOMRE'S. So now that the easy part was over (thinking of the idea) i now had to find a way to ask her. So once again (drowning children aside) I now had to created a way for me to pitch this idea to her- without sounding like a rapist. So i devised a plan- lie.

Now normally i like to shoot straight from the hip, i don't tell lies, i'm not politicaly correct, i don't beat around the bush. I'm blunt. So lying is not normally part of my game. But today i felt lucky, and like a bad ass (no i have no idea why.) So i started to befriend some of the lifeguards that were on rotation with me.

Luckily they were both girls, and because girls gossip and talk non stop- spreading the word worked better than i had hoped. I basically threw out that i was having a smore/hottub palooza at my place, and suddenly everyone was jumping in line. Now i could care less about everyone that was coming, i only cared for the one that had yet to ask me/me ask her if she would give me the pleasure of her company.

Near the end of the day, me and by a stroke of luck- Blondie and I were the only two stacking chairs. I new that it was now or never, and the thought of entertaining people for the night- with no profit on my end was not very, shall we say- entertaining? So there we were, her hair pulled back in a short pony tail- and me (looking retarded) I said some stupid joke, which got her to giggle, and i guess i took things from there. I don't remember exactly what i had said, but i know for sure that it was something to the effect of "I would surely enjoy your enchanting presence- and besides, I always want the girl to guy ratio in my favor lol lol...... (ya you get it)

So then, she said "give me a sec, i need to make sure i can go." At the end of night duties, she walked up to me and said, and that it would be fine. BUT (she lived on the other side of town from me, so she asked if she could follow me home.) At this point, i new that something was happening- how could i get so lucky? Screw everyone else. Nothing could ruin this day (i would eat those words in 20min) at this point, all was good. VERY GOOD.

We had a long walk to the parking lot, and we exchanged pleasantries, small talk- jokes, and her pretty laughter. Blondie stands to about my chest so she is about 5'4 /5'3. She has a wonderful curvy body, not stick thin- however certainly not chunky. She has pretty blue eyes, and a freaking amazing ass. This is the girl that is walking next to me. However i am not the type to be throw astray with looks alone. I need someone to interest my mind, and my penis. Not one or the other. Both. It is defiantly harder to impress me with mind games, instead of looks. Looks are cheap, minds are deep and exiting.

Walking to the car, i had her jump through a number of hoops (figuratively speaking) I made jokes, and interesting comments- that normally would fly over the heads of your average airhead girls. But Blondie was different. She actually giggled- and to top it off, threw me a quip that i actually had to think about. I new we had a winner. We clicked, and i had only been walking with her for 5 minuets.

Arriving at our cars (which were conveniently parked next to each other) My cell phone began to ring, and little did i know this was the beginning of the end. (or so i thought)I Answered the phone and it was none other than my mother. She needed to have my drop my car off- at some place, that she "didn't know exactly the correct rout to get there- but gave me a general idea."

Great i thought. What could go wrong? With my man instincts i will find this place, and never get lost. After explaining the situation to Blondie- who didn't seem to mind at all, we headed out. Driving to this imaginary place, i was alone in my car with my thoughts to my self. I needed to find this place quickly and get this night back on track. That didn't happen. Long story short, i did get confused as to where my mother would like me to drop the car off, and we ended up driving around downtown for 20 min.

After i had finally dropped my car off, and how blondie was driving me back to my place- i though the night would be over. What kind of girl would put up with the shit i had accidentally just thrown at her? I was expecting a bad mood to say the least- but she started to giggle at me. "You are very funny when your frustrated. You make me laugh/ entertain me." Were the things that came out of her pretty mouth. The ride back to my house, was not nearly as bad as i would have thought. I guess that we both laughed it off, and by the time we had made it back to my place me and blondie had gotten into some more serious discussion.

That was all about to end. Back at my house, about 7 other lifeguards were present. Eagerly awaiting smores and hottub time. Sadly i had to relinquish my new found obsession- and entertain the fools. The night passed by quickly. Smore making was about as elegant as chimps playing violin, and besides a few laughs and some glances, me and blondie really didn't have a chance to continue our intriguing car conversations.

The night was slowly wearing down, and everyone decided to go hot tubing. I was almost looking forward to this part, because i would have thought that Blondie and me would be able to talk a bit more between ourselves. Once again however, the other chumps that were over at my place- did well to keep me busy. the one good side however, was the Blondie decided to sit right next to me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of here. Where normally she was talkative and outspoken to me, she quieted down significantly when we were with the group.

This intrigued me more so than i hope i let on. Near midnight, my Patience was finally rewarded. Everyone had left- or was about to leave. Me and Blondie were the only ones left. She looked at me with here deep blues and said "hey do you mind if i stay awhile longer?" Did she really just ask me this? I almost did a back flip out of the pool. Of course she could stay longer.

Finally after everything had died down, me and Blondie were truly the only ones in the vicinity. We were sitting, eyes to the sky looking at the summer night. It was pretty, I'm not going to lie. The steam rolled around us, and pretty soon she started up some interesting conversation.

"Ben, it feels like i have known you for a long time- you seem like a good friend. I know that this must sound really creepy, but i don't know- it just feels weird like that."

*My Brain Thoughts*

What!!!!! WOOT ben you are the shit- it's gg no re. You have her! She will want your number, and she will want to talk to you more! Mission accomplished.

*End thoughts*

Me: "Surprisingly i get that a lot lol"

Basically that was the main jist of our 15min conversation under the stars. We both decided to get out, and me being the gentleman, handed her her cute towel- and showed her to the door. Waiting for her to change, i thought that the night had gone perfectly. I may have just met the girl of my dreams- possibly someone that could even top CC.

Walking out the bathroom Blondies hair was once again pulled into a cut pony tail- she looked at me and said, i'm almost as bad with directions as you are. Could you show me how to get to the highway? This wasn't much of a problem for me, as i was writing down the directions on a piece of paper- the typical happened. Her phone rang. I was listening to the conversation, and found out that it was her boyfriend.

boyfriend
boyfriend
boyfriend
boyfriend
Friends- that is all we will ever be (but i had to try at least)
end- the end of our short relationship.

So after her quick kiss kiss to her man stud, i somehow steered the conversation topic about him. What i found out is that Blondie has been dating this boy for 4 years.

*Now normally boyfriends don't stop me. I try and get what i want. But i wasn't going to try and kid myself- 4 years is a long time. That is serious.*

Standing in my foyer- i almost wanted to cry. There was this girl, who had come from nowhere- into my life, and was truly amazing. And now i realize that i probably don't have a chance to be with her. As we said good by, she came in for a hug.

NO it wasn't a side hug. WE are talking a full on bear hug here. I was quite surprised and taken back from this. (I would find out later that she sensed this and thought that she had blown it. But that is for a later time)

Needless to say, i stammered out- "Oh a hug" Sometimes i just have to tell you, i have a fucking way with words. We said our goodbyes and that was the end of the night. As i walked up stairs, i could only thing of one thing. How hopeless i am with women.

*More to Come*

The start of something good Part 2 !

Ok moving on

Well as the days moved on, me and CC became closer and closer friends. I can truly say that going to work was a becoming a joy, because i would get to see her. (wow I am sounding gay right now) None the less- life was great. As we became closer and closer friends, we just ended up doing all of these things together and for each other. Some examples; Because i was one of the first people at work (early morning swim lessons) I would always have the best pick of the lifeguarding chairs. Normally this is first come first served style of who gets what position. I guess everything started when i made it a point to make sure that CC got her favorite chair every day.

On another note, sometimes when i would in from a break from my lifeguarding duties (ie saving minorities from drowning, returning missing children, and cleaning up bodily fluids ext ext.) I would find little goodies in my lunch box. One day it was cookies, another cheese cake (holyshitmyfavorite!) Also it was HOMEMADE (by her) and of course my favorite findings- blueberries and raspberries. The reason that i cite the berries as being my favorite is because of this little known fact- those are her favorite. the fact that she gave up something that was her favorite- from her own lunch box is freaking amazing.

Needles to say everything was good. The girl that i had always had a soft spot for, who for years wanted nothing more than to see me dead, was now acting like my better half. Of course all of these shenanigans got the eye of my boss. my boss (who is really cool) knew from last year that CC hated me to the point of death. She saw this sudden change in relationship- and brought this to my attention.

Me and my boss have a really good relationship- i go drinking with her, and generally outside of work we are very very good friends. Now when she comes to me and begins to tell me that CC looks like she is treating me more a crush than a friend shocked me. Now don't get me wrong- i would love nothing more than to get into a relationship with this girl. But (as usual for me some things were holding me back)

Just recently my and CC had gone to a movie (The dark night) and when the movie had finished, we found our selves back at my place. Because i live close to a park- i decided that we should go for a midnight swing on the swing sets. So swinging away and looking at the stars, me and CC started to get into some heavy conversation. I will try and write a synopsis of what i remember- because we talked till 230 in the morning, and frankly i just cannot remember every little detail.

CC (talking about her life ext ext- girls talk alot) basically was saying something to the effect of this:

' Ben i hate this place, i cannot wait for my senior year in high school to be over, and then i can go to a college far far away from here. Even with my sister gone (the Michael Phelps in girl form 4.0 perfection child)my parents still find a way worry about her more than me. When my mom isn't talking to her (CC's older sister) she will worry about our new dog. Christ- it feels like she cares for the dog more than me at times.

Whats worse is that my good guy friend (This guy friend is a mutual friend of ours, he runs CC and is in the grade above CC child. Therefore he will be leaving for his freshman year of college shortly. We will call him frank.) Frank did something crazy. Well i had always new that he liked me, but i had hoped that we could just be friends. well today- while we were getting some lunch, he pretty much spilled his heart out. I had to turn him down, but i don't know why. Frank is a great guy, his family is really nice, he is smart and good looking. Idk

Then CC child drops the bomb- "Ben don't ever turn on me."

*Interlude into my brain for a second*

*At his point I am like SHIT FUCK CUNT!!! friend zoned NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What could I do? What could i say? I had to try and fight back- I am not going to take this sitting down, hell i never take anything sitting down. AHHHHHHHHHH Words were escaping me, i couldn't believe this was happening to me- how could this happen? I had to think of something fast- so i did.*

*End Mind interlude here*

So i said "Don't worry about it- I will always be here for you."

*Interlude into my brain again*

*Ben what did you just say? WHAT YOU JUST FELL FOR THAT??? Christ- i wanted to walk around the rest of the night with a big post-it on my head with the words "Pussy" Etched deep deep into the yellow paper.*

*End Mind Interlude*

So that was that. Minus the few other topics we covered in the night (all fairly deep- basically the "you tell me your stories, ill tell you mine BS) Afterwards i felt numb (and it wasn't because of the cold) Perhaps CC really didn't like me the way i thought. Perhaps all of those flirty encounters were just in my imagination? I couldn't be sure. I couldn't sleep that night because i had something else to dread (beside the fact that the girl of my dreams just chopped my dick and balls off.) I had to go to another pool.

Yep that's right, some stupid higher up in the City thought that the pool staff should flip flop all over the place, so every one can meet everyone. That way you just don't become familiar with your original pool. The next morning was a morning of death. I woke up and cried (because i have to work at a shitty pool, not because of CC. I'm not that gay.), tripped over my dog and stumbled into the shower.

The pool that i had to work all day at- was the pool of my nightmares. Where i normally work, I am top shit. Head life guard, the bosses love me, the co-workers love me- and even the pool rats (people that come every day no matter what the weather, or how sick they are) all enjoy and respect my lifeguard-ness. However today this was all going to change. I was going to a pool where the boss hated me, and made sure the i knew that i was never going to get on her good side- and thusly would have to spend the rest of my life living on her shit side.

As i parked my car and shuffled into the pool- something caught my eye. Because i no longer cared about furthering my relationship with CC- i figured that it was high time i start looking for another summer fling. Low and behold, luck was on my side. These she was, dripping wet, fresh out of the pool from swimming our weekly laps (required by state law) Her one piece clung to her slim figure, and as she slowly raised her hands to her swim cap, she slowly began to peal it off. Not only was she well endowed- but she had two other important features. Blond hair, and blue eyes.

I have no idea why i like Aryans so much- i don't think that they are superior or anything, perhaps it's because i have the same hair and eyes that makes me like them in the opposite sex? Who knows. Anyway back on topic here, her light straw colored hair loosely fell from here head, stopping just above the shoulders. I think that she may have caught me eye raping her- so i looked as non creeper as possible and said 'Hi' (good move Ben)

I had to meet this girl. Even though i have been working at the pools for 3years- i have never seen her before. I had a day of lifeguarding to try and get something started, because i had no idea if i would ever see here again.

***More to come- Im just getting cerebral palsy here from writing all of this stuff**

The start of Something good?

Well where do i begin? I have about as much luck with women- as i do with going 4hatch pool in ZvT.

My longest relationship was a whopping 2 weeks- and that was back in my junior year of high school (Now a Sophomore at UWOSH) It's not like i have a hard time talking to women, or being social. For that matter i am normally life of the party, and am an extreme extrovert. But i digress.

The single life has always treated me well, i like to live life the way i want. Girls just have always just seemed to slow me down. But then something amazing happened. I met some (girls) two actually that i thought were beyond stellar. The mere thought of either would put a bit of serendipity into my normally dull and gray life.

I met the first of the two while i was at high school. I ran cross country with her (and CC jokes aside) generally had a good time running for fun. However that was all to change in my junior year. Then she came onto the team. A little freshman, that was cute- and seemed nice. In the little sister kind of way (back off pedobear) I thought all was well and decided to finally start talking to this little thing of beauty. I had gotten quite entranced with her T.L.P (Tight Little Package- yes I am an ass man) running up to her one day, i started to talk- we talked. In between labored breaths, i joked and we carried on a conversation as best we could while running. Everything was going good, until the inevitable.

She began dating the Capitan of the CC team. While on varsity myself, i had to deal with both of them on a constant basis- all the while trying very very hard not to show any emotion to her/him. All of this became drastically easier when for no reason, she began to despise any thought of me. I became nothing but a grotesque image to her, and she let me know her true feelings on a daily basis. Right now, the best thing i could do for her- was show up to CC practice in a body bag.

Interestingly enough, i was (at the time) good friends with her older sister. CC girls older sister was a swimming prodigy, and a 4.0 student. (basically perfect0 I had on many occasions asked the older version why her little sister hated me so. I had never gotten a complete answer, and i had thought that over the summer- my burning desire to become closer friends with CC child would be long forgotten.

Now i hold the best of all summer jobs, and beside the fact that i am very likely to get skin cancer from my chosen profession, i really do enjoy it. Lifeguarding is the ultimate job. I sit on my ass, while saving other peoples ass at the same time. Normally at my pool i am king of my castle. The guy life guards want to be me, and all of the girl life guards want to be liked/ asked out by me. (yes i know that i am coming off as an arrogant prick, but it's true- so please just bear with me) Needless to say, i almost decided to kill myself, when low and behold- CC child was working there too.

I can sum up the summer of my senior year like this- ABSOLUTE HELL. CC child made it her mission in life to try and make me hold my head under the water until the bubbles stopped. However, something interesting happened- CC childes older sister (the Michael Phelps in girl form 4.0 student) left for college at the end of the summer. After this happened, CC child became much less charged, and i daresay bearable?

Well- i went off to college, and i had completely forgotten about CC child, her TLP, her Fiery personality (yes i know that this is going to sound weeabo- but i'm serious, she is a clone of Asuka from Eva.) So hopefully i have kind of helped you to understand what type of personality i was dealing with. Needless to say, i had all but forgotten about her- untill the summer of 2008 rolled around.

There i was sitting in the office at my life guarding job, when none other than Asuka walks in. I was expecting an immediate insult/punch/mental raping...... But it never came. For some reason CC child and me had some type of un-easy truce going. While i will admit that last summer was the summer of hell, i will never forget that all the while we were at each others throats- i never stopped loving every minuet of it. However now right in front of me, there she was. CC child. I hadn't seen- much less thought of her in over a year. She looked like the same girl i had left, but different. she had filled out- no doubt about that. Her brown eyes and long brown hair still sparkled in the sun and off the reflections of the dirty pool water. She was edgy, opinionated, smart and always had a chip on her shoulder. However standing before me now, she seemed so much different.

For the first three weeks of the summer, i tried to avoid contact with CC girl for as long as possible. So far, no fights had started, no mean tricks were played- only the passing 'Hi'. However everything changed in a certain week of may. It was the end of the week, and the pool was mostly dead. I was talking over the mega horns to another lifeguard sitting across the pool. For some reason, we began to talk about great food. Of course i brought up the inevitable smore. I was talking about how i make extremely delicious smores, and that i had never had one better than mine. Upon hearing this, CC child started an actual conversation with me. She began to argue with me- that her smore were superior to mine. I wasn't about to take this lying down, because as far as i was concerned; Men have an advantage over women when cooking over an open flame.

So as the day was winding down, and all of the lifeguards (myself included) were slowing walking back to the lifeguard office, CC child walked up to me. She began to continue our argument about who can create the best smores. I was almost speechless- here is a girl that hasn't gone out of her way to see me in over two years, now telling me to wait up- so she can tell me about smores. i was flabbergasted. So on our walk back, and many insults (about ones cooking prowess) aside, i decided to go balls to the wall- and ask her over to my place.

She looked up at me for a second, slightly twisting her head, as her hair brushed past her perfect cheeks. Then she asked me, "Is this a challenge?" to which i responded- of course. Then she did the most incredible thing: SHE SAID SURE. One word. Just one word from her mouth made me feel like the luckiest man alive right there and then. Riding my ego high, i decided to go one step further- I told her to bring her swimming suit along as well. To which she replied 'sure.'

Getting home that Friday was a blur. I don't remember anything, (i may have killed a cat or something) i would have had no idea. I was happy, this Saturday- i would have CC child over at my house, making smores and chilling in my hot tub. I awoke saturday to teach swimming lessons, and the whole day at work flew by. After getting back from work, i quickly shoved down a burrito and showered off all of my sunscreen- before the big event.

8:00 rolled around too quickly- soon there was a knock at my door, and because i had the house to my self, was hoping that the night would just as i had planned. I opened the door, and low and behold- there she was. Pony tail and all- she looked perfect, in nothing but a t shirt and sweat pants. I said hi, and tried to get through all of the pleasantries- before leading her outside to my backyard and conversely the fire pit. I hadn't begun to create the fire yet- which i guess was a good idea, because she was a bit of a pyro. Trying to keep with my bear grills many-ness i created a perfect log cabin type of fire build.

She had other ideas though, and swiftly took apart my log cabin in favor for her favorite: the tepee style. I conceded to her fire making choice, and putting my ego and manly outdoors-ness aside, also brought out the lighter fluid. After we had gotten out all of our pyro tenancies, and childhood burn stories- all was well. We had a crackling fire, that in a short while would make a wonderful smore making showdown arena. Deciding to kill a bit of time (because i was running out of things to say) i decided to present the idea of jumping around on my families trampoline. The T word was music to her ears, and exclaiming the fact that she adores these squeaky play devices quickly ran over with on.

The view on the trampoline was amazing- gravity does amazing things, and watching her runner legs and ass propel her high into the air- was simply amazing. After a short while, we had grown tired, and ended up walking back to the fire pit / smore showdown arena. friendly insults ensued as we both began to place our marshmallows to the flames. I was concentrating on my marshmallow intently, we didn't make a sound. The only thing that i could here was the sweat dripping from my nose onto the ground- and the random cricket. Soon my marshmallow was complete. A nice and golden brown, but hers was more so. I was feeling a bit anxious because at this point i had noticed that she may have created a superior marshmallow. Putting my fears aside- i placed my creation onto a graham cracker and slid in a piece of chocolate. However this was not enough

CC child had to one up- and she did in amazing fashion. She took the chocolate- placed it ever so carefully onto her marshmallow- then proceeded to precariously melt the chocolate on her marshmallow- by holding the contraption over the flame. I was in awe. She was out of my league- there was no way my smore could match hers. I felt worthless, and suddenly very cold. I was in the presence of a master. At this point, she took her chocolate encrusted marshmallow, and swiftly placed it in between to graham crackers- and with a smug look on her face, handed me the smore. I looked in awe at this creation, it was almost as lovely as her eyes in the firelight.

I was snapped back to reality, when grabbing my smore- she said "This is what I get? THIS......THING?" I knew she was right- i was inferior. CC Child took a bite anyway, and through giggling told me that my smore sucked. I was QQ for awhile- until i decided to take a bite of her creation. Scathing comments were bubbling up inside of me, but were soon squelched by the orgasm that was building in my mouth. I couldn't stand it any longer- i shoved what was left of the smore into my face, and conceded that she was indeed the better smore warrior.

After our rousing battle, she did something that only the most manner of people ever do- make more. She would make her perfections and while i was not chewing enthusiastically at her edible mona lisas- began to slide into easy conversation. We talked about college, life, our jobs, the weather, everything. For some reason we just clicked. As we changed and slid into the hot tub, our bellies full of sticky deliciousness- had asked her the question I had been waiting to ask all night.

"Why the change of heart?" I asked why she had hated me so- and that now with her and her wonderful two piece here with me- just me and her. What had changed? She looked at me for a second- and with her wet hair clinging to her face, and the steam of the water wafting past her long beautiful neck, she told me this:

"Well I guess i just grew up. Ben, back in those years- i hated the world. My parents loved my perfect sister more than me, she got more attention, she was a prodigy swimmer, did perfect in school- was popular, i just felt worthless. I was always in her shadow, and there was nothing i could do about it. I always felt that i was trying to compete with her, and i would always lose. I felt like nothing could go right. As you know- i had friends with all of the upper class men, and when they left- I didn't have any friends to call my own. I broke up with my boyfriend over the summer- and the few guy friends that i had left, all turned on me.

The all wanted a romantic relationship with me. I wasn't ready, but they pushed the topic. I couldn't stand any of them. Before i realized it i was alone, no friends. Only boys that wanted to date me.

I sat there stunned. I didn't know what to say- but i guess i said the right thing, because after that night- we became very very close friends.

*The rest of the story will Follow, more coming!*

Also for those of you that think this is made up, no it's not. I just cannot find the time to devote hours and hours to writing this in between going and keeping up with my class work on the week days. Hopefully on the week i will spend more time